Friday, January 11, 2013

Nope. Still Not a Fan.

Dear Chemistry,

Let's face it;  you and I have a history, and it's not a good one.  You made me cry.  A lot.  You tried your best to ruin my junior year of high school what with your formulas and periodic tables and hot plates and Bunsen burners. You and your equations and your molecules and such.   The truth is, I hated you.  When I walked away from your lab, I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that our relationship was over.  I want you to know that you have not been missed.  There has not been a single day that I have looked back and felt any kind of warm tingly feelings about you.  

But now, by some weird twist of fate, I have given birth to children who are intrigued by you.  They talk about you and your chemical properties.  They are actually fond of you.  I am sure that this fondness comes from John's side.  I know I did not contribute any positive chemistry genes.  

Today, I chaperoned a field trip Jack's class took to UW-Oshkosh.  I knew it was a science field trip, but nobody told me it was a chemistry field trip.  It wasn't until I was already trapped on a vinyl-covered bus seat that I found out that the 6th graders were going to do chemistry all day.  I immediately went into panic mode.  I seriously had to calm myself down on the trip to campus.  I worked hard to try and convince myself that I might actually like you this time around, now that I am older and wiser and stuff.

But no.  You made me squirm today, chemistry.  You were just as "chemistry" as I remembered.  By the end, I was literally desperate to get out of that lab.  I kept watching Jack to see if he could tell that I was freaking out on the inside, but he was too busy enjoying himself to notice my discomfort.  He was smiling and engaged in all the discussions.  It was amazing.  As I was sitting there willing myself not to start repeatedly bang my head against my lab table, he was over there having a blast making Gack and liquid soap, and other sticky things.  He looked like he was having the time of his life.  Go figure.

The good news is that it doesn't seem like any of my kids have inherited my dread of Chemistry.  The better news is that I can't think of a single reason why I will ever have to step foot in a Chemistry lab again.  You better believe I will be asking for more details before I sign up to chaperone another "science" field trip again.  : )

Goodbye, Chemistry.  It's not me.  It's definitely you.


  1. What memories your blog brought back to us. We remember your days in Chemistry like it was last week! We laughed as I read of your field trip with Jack and were so glad you didn't have to take a test!

    1. Oh my gosh! A test! That would have completely put me over the edge! : )

  2. Vicki!! Smiling. Were you in 7th hour Ms. Berman with me? Still remember Avogadro's number?!? Think of you often when in Palos as my brother lives at the corner of 75th and 123rd St. Stay well!