The Truth About Oil Changes

1.  Today I brought my car into the dealership for an oil change.
2.  Taking my car in for an oil change is one of my least favorite adult responsibilities.
3.  Oil changes seem like they should be a guy chore.
4.  My guy works all day.
5.  I stay home all day.
6.  That makes it really hard to justify asking John to take the car in for an oil change.
7.  Every time I take my car in for a $39.00 oil change, they try to talk me into $300 worth of flushes.
8.  Every time.
9.  They are always very certain that I need all kinds of flushes.
10.  And filters.
11.  I always seem to need air filters.
12.  I do not know what a cabin filter is, but today they told me I need one of those, in addition to the air filter.
13.  One time I said "yes" to the flushes and filters.
14.  John was not pleased.
15.  No matter how many times they tell me I need filters and flushes, John disagrees.
16.  In almost 22 years of marriage, I have never really needed a flush or filter, according to John.
17.  I can't honestly say that the one time I did say "yes" to the flush and filter that my car ran any better.
18.  When the guy came over to go over the results of my diagnostics tests, he had all kinds of flushes and filters listed under the "needs attention" section.
19.  On top of the row of flushes and filters and prices were an additional set of prices.
20.  The whole page was a mess of flushes and filters and prices.
21.  The man was very grave while he explained everything.
22.  I did a lot of nodding.
23.  I did not understand a word of what he was saying.
24.  I did some more nodding.
25.  Once it seemed like he was done explaining the flushes and filters, I pursed my lips and pretended to consider things for a bit.
26.  And then I repeated the sentence that John has had me practice over the years, "Hold on a second, I need to call my husband."
27.  I then proceeded to fake-dial John and have a serious one-way conversation about all of the flushes and filters that my car needs.
28.  I fake-nodded with my serious face and said, "Uh-huh" a lot.
29.  Then I hung up and told the man I only wanted an oil change.
30.  I'm not going to lie:  the man looked pretty disappointed.
31.  He gave it one more college try with the old, "Well, I can't guarantee that your check engine light won't come on if you don't do this" line.
32.  I told him I would give his advice serious consideration.
33.  I'm not sure he believed me.
34.  I'm pretty sure he put a note in my file that said, "Don't even bother with the flushes and filter schpeel with this one."
35.  Nothing would make me happier.

XO,
Vicki